Monday, July 16, 2007

Enigmatic Events

As you know, my friend Dayle (of inline skate marathon fame), recently got engaged. While I'd love to go into great detail about my enthusiasm regarding this development, I shall refrain as to do so would necessitate going back in time to recount various scenarios from her days as a single woman. For some, this type of historical recounting might involve a few cute stories and maybe a couple "oh no you didn't" moments. But when it comes to my dear friend Dayle, such exploration would require much more than a mere blog post written by some girl with a pale pink website. For shame!

You see, attempting to fully capture and effectively communicate this notably colorful and uniquely mystifying period of time would be akin to taking on the challenge of writing and directing a film that tells the story of, say, the Bible--a hefty task that must strike the perfect balance between history, art, and soul. Perhaps this era would be best explored via a limited print coffee table book devoted to the seemingly impossible kaleidoscope of realities suggesting intersecting planes where a tattooed Bridget Jones dates John Cusack's character from High Fidelity, the two weaving in and out of your favorite scenes from Clerks and The Bird Cage.

Each glossy page would depict individual situations where stories unfold via key quotes (italicized and bolded in breakout side boxes), tell-tale photos (preferably in black and white for a dramatic, historical look), and reproduced supporting resources such as legendary emails and third-party testimonials (footnoted for historical accuracy). Move over The Cult of Mac [Illustrated, Hardcover] here comes Dayle: The Single Years.

Alas, I don't possess the vision necessary to own the task of archiving and immortalizing the enigmatic events that transpired during this rich period of time. Perhaps one day the subject matter will serve as the basis for an epic novel or a perhaps a pivotal body of research that makes waves in influential circles (do those still exist?). Until the story of Dayle's single years becomes a best seller, I'll have to brag about her for another reason and that reason is that she and her fiance, Larry, just made a purchase way cooler than the kind other engaged couples make. Forget tastefully monogrammed thank you cards--they bought a vineyard.

It's true! Dayle explains the decision as a strategic tactic to avoid having to combine two apartments-worth of possessions when she moved in with Larry. Instead, they just bought a second place where they can use their extra coffee pot, sheet sets, and silverware. And if you're going to buy a second home, why not buy one with a vineyard and an ATV on the property, especially if you like to wear cute cargo pants and drink wine?

So this was a long lead up to announce that I got to visit their new place a few weekends ago where:

1) Larry taught me how to change a tire with a lug wrench and a ratchet (see above photo, mid-job)

2) We laid around in pj's and tried to think of names, logo ideas, and marketing strategies for their wine. My big idea at the moment is to give away airplane-sized bottles of the best batch along with the purchase of Dayle's coffee table book...kind of like how the Basic Instinct DVD came with an ice pick pen. Not only will readers be exposed to and forever hooked on this spectacular Sangeovese blend, but they'll be headed toward the right frame of mind necessary to immerse oneself in Dayle: The Single Years.

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